The Art Of Self-Love, Part 2

Aevi Marie Hansen


This month's Art of Self Love is all about Love + Relationships. Taking focus from the self, it is all too easy to neglect our inner relationships when a newfound partnership presents itself to us, however is it at this point of time when a sense of self-love is absolutely necessary. If self-love is lacking, it’s all too easy to attempt to fill its place with relationships that simply are not right for you. The age old adage is true, it’s almost impossible to love another fully, or receive the love you deserve without loving yourself first. If you’re in a relationship that makes you question your self-worth, intelligence, appearance, or the things you love, it’s time to rise strong, realise your worth and move on. You deserve to be celebrated and loved for who you are, right in this moment. Do not settle for anything less.

Be your own person

Whilst it’s easy to become so absorbed in a new relationship that you lose your innate sense of identity, it is so important to maintain your own rituals, activities and friends, in addition to welcoming in your partners. Factoring in time to be alone, do the things you love and nurture your soul independently really is the key to maintaining a relationship that will thrive in the long term.

Take responsibility for your own happiness

One of the most important factors in any relationship, taking responsibility for your own happiness is key. Whilst your partner can most certainly bring you a whole lot of joy, he or she can only act to enhance your happiness that you must nurture within yourself. Only you have the power to cultivate true happiness in yourself. Once you learn to not allow your happiness to be defined by others,  happiness becomes your own choice, your responsibility and your own inner-light that only you ignite and blow out.

Accept compliments

A big part of living from a place of self-love is letting others express the good they see in you, accepting it and believing it. All too often we are so quick to judge ourselves or discredit compliment’s given. Learn to embrace and love the things that your partner loves about you. Instead of discounting the positives they see or disagreeing, shift your mindset to a place of gratitude and trust. Interestingly enough, it is often our self-perceived flaws that are the most beautiful parts of us to our partners.

Be vulnerable

As Brene Brown recites in her wonderful book of teachings Daring Greatly: ““We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.”

Often perceived as weakness, vulnerability can actually be our greatest strength. Increasing our sense of worthiness and authenticity, vulnerability helps us to feel close and connected to our partner whilst helping us to achieve our own sense of identity. Enabling us to ask for what we want to avoid disengagement from our partner or our relationship, being vulnerable helps us to build trust in others and become fully engaged in a partnership – to open our hearts and to give and receive love fully, as we deserve.

Click here for part 1 – Nourish + Move